What do you think? Normal or not normal?

Well, Yes! Anger is an emotion we all feel at one point or the other, and guess what, it is normal!

Anger can help us identify when we are either being disrespected, or something is just not right. That sounds fair, right?

However, anger can be unhealthy when it is unsettled and “pocketed” somewhere in our minds. This can lead to being aggressive, emulating negative habits such as alcohol misuse, and even getting sick physically and mentally.

How we manage anger will go a long way to determine our actions afterwards. But how best can we manage anger?

Remember these three connected concepts and change one of them!

*Thought, emotion, behaviour*

For example, you are in the midst of your colleagues, and you feel disrespected. It is a normal reaction to be angry when feeling disrespected. The thought of the person’s action towards you that appeared inappropriate will inform how you feel. This emotion can lead to anger, and you may choose to yell at the person or act inappropriately (the behaviour). You can also change your thought to saying maybe the person was not intentional about being disrespectful and you in turn calmly approaches this person to express how you felt by his actions and settle amicably.

When you are angry, what can you do to control it?

• Identify that you are angry. You can also help someone identify when they are angry. Be careful when doing this so as not to aggravate things. Know your limits. A statement like, “it appears you are angry” can help someone accept that they are angry.
• In the short term, practice some techniques such as deep breathing exercises, listening to calm music, or praying, depending on what works for you to ease off some stress.
• Then address the situation that resulted in the anger. This may take the form of having a conversation that names your feeling. For example, you may say, “I feel let down/hurt/betrayed/sad when you disregard my idea/use my things without letting me know/talk unkindly about me.”

Note:

The only person who can change how you feel is you!

Remove yourself from the situation when emotions are running high.

Reach out to a counsellor close to you if you need more information on managing anger.